NO HALF-BAKED KIDS

A Sermon by Bill McDonald from Proverbs 1:1-9

June 15, 2008

 

Proverbs 1

1The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

2    For learning about wisdom and instruction,

       for understanding words of insight,

3    for gaining instruction in wise dealing,

       righteousness, justice, and equity;

4    to teach shrewdness to the simple,

       knowledge and prudence to the young—

5    let the wise also hear and gain in learning,

       and the discerning acquire skill,

6    to understand a proverb and a figure,

       the words of the wise and their riddles.

7    The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;

       fools despise wisdom and instruction.

8    Hear, my child, your father’s instruction,

       and do not reject your mother’s teaching;

9    for they are a fair garland for your head,

       and pendants for your neck.

 

 

I don’t cook.  Recipes don’t help because I don’t know how much a pinch is, I’m not sure if there is a difference between garlic powder and garlic salt or between baking powder and baking soda, and I can never remember that pre-heating the oven to 350 degrees doesn’t necessarily mean to cook the food at that temperature.  I am a kitchen klutz, a clueless cook.  But I do think that recipes are important in life.  On this Fathers Day I would suggest that we need a recipe by which to prepare our children for life.  We might want at times to roast their ears or burn their bottoms, but that isn’t going to produce well-done children.  We need a plan.

 

You can get advice from lots of sources to tell you what to do or not to do.  A couple were attending child-birth classes in anticipation of their second child.  The instructor warned the parents about how not to explain the pregnancy to the first child.  Said the instructor, “Some parents tell the first child that we loved you so much that we decided to have a second child.  Now just think about what you are saying.  Wives, if your husband came home and told you that he loved you so much that he decided to bring home a second wife, how would you like that?”  One of the expectant mothers immediately asked, “Does she cook?”

 

Good advice abounds.  Even from children:

Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10

A puppy always has bad breath - even after eating a Tic-Tac. - Andrew, age 9

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer. - Hannah, age 9

Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, age 14

Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to. - Emily, age 10

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. - Taylia, age 11

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. - Naomi, age 15

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Alyesha, age 13

["Kid's Little Treasure Books on What We've Learned... So far" by H. Jackson Brown Jr. - ed.]

 

But if we really want advice that will lead us to preparing our children for life, we don’t have to look any farther than the first few verses of the biblical book called Proverbs.

 

“For learning about wisdom….”  Do we put much emphasis on teaching wisdom to our children?  We teach them to keep their rear elbow up when they are standing at home plate ready to bat.  We teach them to watch the baseball, not the pitcher.  On jump shots in basketball, we instruct them how to let the ball spin off their fingertips on release.  And not to lock their knees as they are shooting free throws.  We teach them the intricacies of eye shadow and make-up base and lip-liner.  But do we teach them how to gain wisdom?  That’s a lot tougher, isn’t it?  Where do you even start that conversation?

 

Perhaps it starts with a conversation about what is most important in life.  In his book The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint Exupéry, writes “What is essential is invisible to the eye.”  There’s a lesson our children ought to know before they are grown!  The writer of Proverbs says something similar, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.”  I remind you once again that the word “fear” used here means “holding God in awe,” being amazed and enthralled by God.  God is the starting point to understanding the rest of life.  Now, where will our children learn that?  Not on the soccer field or the basketball court, even though some Christian leagues do a decent job of proclaiming that God is more important than sports.  But unfortunately they spend ten minutes on that theme and two hours practicing the game.  So our kids are going to need more time to explore the idea of what is essential in life.  They are going to need Sunday School and youth group and Vacation Bible School and earnest talks with you sitting out under the stars and worship in church and good books you give them to read.  Of course that means that we have to get our own acts together also.  Dropping a kid at Sunday School tells him or her more than the teacher will ever be able to impart.  It says this isn’t really all that important or else I would be going too.  Putting worship at the bottom of the list of important events sends a deep and often permanent message to our children: “Sure, if we don’t have a practice or game, if we don’t have house guests, if we aren’t too tired, if we all get up early enough, then we will go to church on Sunday.”  We teach priorities to our children by our own priorities.

 

The Proverb says, “for gaining instruction in wise dealing, righteousness, justice and equity.”  When I read that passage, my head snapped around, which is what happens to me every time I encounter a sudden truth.  We all know the value of wise dealing and teaching that skill to our kids.  Good business head on her shoulders, ability to spot a con game when he sees it, knowing what’s the real deal and what’s fake—wise dealing.  That’s important.  But look what ranks right up there with wise dealing.  There is nothing but a comma between wise dealing and righteousness and justice and equity.  Do we spend the same amount of time on righteousness, justice and equity as we do on wise dealing?  I mean, you can major in business administration at almost any university but can you major in righteousness?  Is there a minor in ethics?  Is there a course called Doing Right 101?  No, there isn’t; so where will our children get that vital knowledge?  At home and at church—at your side.  In preparation for Rosemary White’s memorial service, her children told me that Rosemary always taught them to care for people who were less fortunate than they.  Now there’s a proverb to live by.  But I wonder how well it translates into our businesses or our politics or our competitive natures.  “For gaining instruction in…equity.”  That’s what the Bible is for, that’s what Proverbs is for to teach us equity.  At a seated meal I have often seen the host serve everyone else and then take just a tiny portion for himself or herself for fear that the guests would not have gotten enough.  Have you seen that or done that?  It’s a proverbial approach to life.  On the other hand I was in Long John Silvers once when they were giving away a pirate hat to every child.  The little boy in front of me asked his mother if he could have two.  She replied, “Take more than two; take everything you can get in life.”  That was her instruction to her child—wise dealing without the bother of ethics or justice or compassion.

 

 Some years ago I came across a list of virtues for fathers.  I don’t know who wrote this list, but I suspect that the writer’s lineage could be traced back to Solomon.  It was written to fathers but it translates well to all parents.

 

“God’s Ten Most Wanted Fathers”

1. The father who puts God’s business before any other business.

2. The father who brings his children to church rather than sending them.

3. The father who thinks more of Sunday School than Sunday sleep.

4. The father who has more desire to help others than to be helped himself.

5. The father who can see his own faults before he sees the faults of others.

6. The father who understands that time is the best gift he can give his children.

7. The father who loves his children for what they are rather than what they accomplish.

8. The father who isn’t afraid to let his feelings or his faith show.

9. The father who is more concerned about how he is seen by his children than by his peers.

10. The father who coaches his children in ethics, not just in athletics.

 

That kind of instruction will put the victor’s garland on our children’s heads and a medal of honor around their necks.  And we won’t have to stick a fork in them to see if they are done, for their actions will demonstrate that they are ready.  Their actions will display our teaching.